Some say with age you become wiser. Maybe. I honestly don’t know. What I do know is that we all have the capacity to create a consciously wiser mind when we get curious about what’s around us, and that can happen at any age. It’s what we call in coaching an “aha moment.” Those snaps that come to you, like out of nowhere, when you find yourself at a beautiful truth that makes you say, “I’m awake.”
And yes, if you’re not paying attention, you might miss it in the moment. But when you do catch it, it’s like finding a clue that shifts everything and gives you the power to change your story for the better.
I stumbled into this concept back in 2015, during my first coaching certification in Integrative Nutrition. Since then, I’ve learned that an “aha moment” has the power to move you forward, to unfold possibilities, to help you choose what’s best for you at the moment.
Recently, I had one of those moments. For years, I believed my greatest fear was death, and because of that I wanted to do everything, miss nothing. It’s what drove me to overwork, to over‑plan, to say yes when I was already exhausted. I thought if I kept moving, kept achieving, kept filling every space, I could outrun the fear. But the truth I uncovered is different. In reality, I wasn’t afraid of dying. I was afraid of living.
Bear with me. I’ll be the first one to tell you how precious and wonderful life is, even with its ups and downs. But that’s exactly why it was easier to say it to others than to believe it for myself because when you’re afraid of life, you don’t live it—you manage it. And for me, that management showed up everywhere: at home, at work, in my goals, in what I had accomplished and what I hadn’t yet. We tend to measure life by what we do, but we rarely pause to see the toll it takes on our health.
That same pattern spilled into my body. I began to control it the way I controlled my calendar. Every choice became about management. For me, it was what I ate, how I planned, how I tried to outsmart my own body. I thought vigilance was strength. I thought if I controlled enough variables, I could outsmart uncertainty.
But here’s the paradox: the more I tried to control, the more I disconnected from living. And that disconnection has its own form of illness.
Science shows us that chronic hypervigilance—whether it’s about food, symptoms, finances, or any other life circumstance—keeps the nervous system stuck in survival mode. Cortisol rises, digestion falters, sleep suffers, inflammation builds. Over time, this “always on” state doesn’t protect health. It erodes it.
And yet, swinging to the other extreme—treating health as something optional or secondary—doesn’t bring freedom either. It’s another way of stepping back from life, of saying why bother. In both directions, health ends up carrying the weight of our fears and distractions.
The real shift is seeing health not as a tool for control or something to dismiss, but as the ground we stand on. It’s what allows us to meet life as it is, without hiding from it or trying to outsmart it.
That’s where balance comes in. The real work is learning how to move out of survival mode and into a regulated state where the body can repair, digest, and restore. That’s where presence lives. And for me, the shift has been realizing that health isn’t about eliminating risk but about trusting that my body can handle imperfection. That my worth isn’t measured by how perfectly I manage my protocols.
And maybe that’s the point. To live in a way that lets life reach us. To let health be the ground, not the goal. To stop managing and start inhabiting.
Health is not the backup plan for when life is “handled.” It’s the strategy for living fully now. That’s the gift of an aha moment. It doesn’t just change your mind. It changes your body. It shifts you from fear into presence. And for me, that presence is health—physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. The kind of health that doesn’t chase perfection, but honors connection. Not as control, not as punishment, but as the anchor that lets me live.
I have to say, this reflection carries something tender. It was sparked by the recent and unexpected passing of someone I loved deeply—my stepmom, Mary, the mom of my three brothers. And while this story is mine, I want to honor the truth: She was the reason for that aha moment that woke me up. This newsletter carries her imprint, and I hold that with care. Thank you.
You don’t need to have it all figured out. Start small. Let health be your center. Connect the dots from the inside—work with your body and wellness will follow. Let it lead you into your best life.
To your good health,
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